so quiet, another wasted night, the television steals the conversation

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The Video Music Awards (VMA) REALLY are about music videos!

And since I don’t spend my time watching music videos I had no real idea what of a FREAK lady gaga is or the fact that Taylor Swift’s video is better than Beyonce’s Single Ladies. The video that went crazy on youtube and that made people think that skipping around in their own black leotards trying to copy Beyonce is actually entertaining. WAKE UP!! you are not Beyonce. Stick to doing the dance in your room by yourself without a video camera propped up on a desk…like me!!

Even though it seems that Beyonce’s video is liked more by the country,

I still would not have gotten out of my seat and stormed the stage,

stolen the mic out of Taylor Swift’s hand

and announced to the country on live television that Beyonce should have won.

I also would not have shaven a bunch of different squiggly lines all over my head but I guess me and Kanye like to live our lives a little differently.

Speaking of living our lives differently, I can definitely say that I have never once had the problem of confusing my life with Lady Gaga’s.

The VMA’s might as well have been advertised as a scary movie. Between Lady Gaga’s costume changes and not knowing when Kanye West was going to pop up on stage again I couldn’t stop covering my eyes with my sheets. Every time I would uncover my eyes there would be Lady Gaga with red laced underwear over her head or a bird’s nest strangling her face.

Good thing it was a Sunday night and my mom had nothing better to do than “bond” with me over a lovely night of television watching.

Mom: ever heard of one flew over the coo coo’s nest.

Me: I think you mean the cuckoo’s nest...but I get where you’re going with this. Hilarious!

Oh and did I say good job Russell Brand!! Oh wait I take that back because you made me uncomfortable every second you were up on stage.

Mom: who gave that transvestite a microphone?

Me: he is not a transvestite….tight pants and heels are in for guys. (WAIT!! Why am I sticking up for him? Take off those leggings and put on some REAL pants!)

But other than that I really did enjoy the show, especially the tribute to Michael Jackson. But I have to say...I think it is time we lay him to rest.

Speaking of laying to rest.

Inglorious Basterds was (insert an elevated synonym for GREAT here)!!!!!

And yes Tarantino meant to spell basterds wrong….or he is just an idiot. An idiot that is really good at making a movie that makes you want to squeal, laugh and join the army all at the same time.

I would love to be interrogated by Brad Pitt, as long as I can keep my scalp afterwards. Yep there was scalping involved (insert squeal here).

Inglorious Basterds was a definite good movie pick.

I really thought I was the master at looking at movie trailers and knowing what to expect from a movie.

And then Taking Woodstock comes along…and I am defeated.

I’m not sure if it was the naked hippies “acting”, (one would have to be very talented to act with hairy parts flinging everywhere), or Liev Schreiber as a transvestite, but I walked out.

You know when people talk about how they were born in the wrong time just because they love The Beatles? Well I know I was not supposed to be alive during Woodstock because I would have walked out on that mess while yelling hugs NOT drugs and passing out Hanes underwear and t-shirts so they would cover up (you get a lot in a package for the price).

R.I.P. Vogue Evolution: I really am going to miss you running around on stage and doing the (really uncomfortable looking) splits. (I hope he got his you-know-what removed).

a world of contradictions

i have realized since the emergence of opinions of a lactose i have been making facebook status updates less and less.
which is a good thing. a very, very good thing.
i don't mean to sound hypocritical but facebook status' in a way are everyone's worst enemy.
what really makes you think that people care who you are with or what you are doing?
but then secretly we do care. we are interested. that's what keeps us logging on everyday.
facebook is a community of harsh contradictions, that at the end of the day show how pathetic and self-absorbed we all are.
which is OKAY with me. because at the end of MY day i can proudly say that i am not the girl who leaves facebook status' that say: why are you so obsessed with me?(O.M.G.!)

it is so hot here in texas that people don't just crack their windows so their car doesn't get too stuffy...we have to keep our windows rolled all the way down so the inside of our car doesn't melt.
it is so hot here in texas that i don't feel the air conditioning in my car until i have arrived at my destination (thanks for the help a.c.).
it is so hot here in texas that when i see middle aged women walking around the park at one in the afternoon i throw whatever i have in my car at them. (who cares if you have added on a couple pounds since your divorce. go home you moron)
you want to know why dallas has one of the highest obesity rates in the nation....its because its too hot to go outside to play a game of football, or to shed a few pounds!!!
so stop looking at us with those judgemental eyes, and stop wondering why so many of us are addicted to gaming...there is nothing else to do! and i am sure World of Warcraft is better than dehydration or skin cancer.

i really am tired of this weather.
i am ready for the leather jackets
and the colored tights
and knee length boots
the ruffle long sleeve blouses from ralph lauren
and i want to be able to drink hot chocolate without having to take my clothes off afterwards because i am so hot!
but all of these things mean winter.
and i am definitely not ready for the out of style boots with the fur
and the dry skin
and the windshield ice scrapers

oh what is a girl to do!!!?

no one else is quite as beautiful

today i watched chris brown's interview on larry king live. it was pretty interesting. it kind of rekindled my hope in chris brown. i am fan and i will always be a fan. i guess i was kind of in denial about what chris did and seeing the interview was sort of a wake up call that it really DID happen. i keep telling myself that people make mistakes and that chris is only human, but i know if i had heard of another human doing what he did i would be completely disgusted. with chris brown i keep using excuses to justify why he did it. the truth is things happen and i am willing to give him a second chance. i believe that his career is not over. he is an amazing artist. that is why i am a fan. just because he makes mistakes in his personal life should not take away from the fact that he is amazing in his professional life. he is working on a cd and i would hope that the world has as much forgiveness as i have and will buy his cd. it took michael jackson's death for the world to remember what an incredible artist he was. we have an incredible artist living right in front of us. we have the chance to be mesmerized by his work and this is something we should take advantage of.
chris brown is living and i could say that he is back but i would like to believe that he has never left. because truly his music has never left my head, and chris brown as an artist has never left my heart. it took his apology and his words with larry king for me to remember that. so i am done living in denial. the incident happened but i will approach chris brown's music with forgiveness as i dance around to his new CD in my room while wearing my chris brown concert t-shirt that has been in my closet since the incident. no longer will the shirt be shunned, i am going to wear it proud.

Fashion's Night Out starts in 4 days. i think it is an extremely good idea. getting all of the influential people in fashion together for one night to help out the economy and make shopping and clothing and fashion fun again. it is a global thing. and new york being the fashion capital that it is, it makes sense that they would be the only place in the united states participating in fashion's night out. oh wait...just kidding...that makes no sense at all!! this is texas! we have money, we have places to shop! neiman marcus was founded here! we have expensive boutiques and designer stores! it's not fair. i want celebrities at my favorite department stores wearing matching black shirts and having a good time while helping out the economy. if the jonas brothers think texas is suitable then so should vogue. even india is having this thing. what does india have that texas doesn't have? besides all of our jobs...they have nothing!


here is chris brown's interview on larry king live,
if you are not looking to have your faith in chris brown restored then please watch with caution

one hit wonders

She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
I think to sing it again
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong

what a classic.
too bad sisqo only had one hit and this song wasn't good enough to convince me to go out and buy his cd.
so i am only left with my imagnation of what that cd was like
i'm thinking the same vibe as the thong song but with a different chorus. "let me see that (insert undergarment here)"

when i listen to KissFM i try and count all the people that will join sisqo on the list of one hit wonders in a few years.
that list definitely includes flo rida.
"apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur"
he was the start of this new rap thing where they take one catchy line and then repeat it for 4 minutes.
but i have to admit, i did have to dance around in my car the first 30 times kissfm played the song. and then the day i realized flo rida put together was florida, i stopped dancing.
boots with fur aren't even in style anymore FLORIDA!!
the only thing that would make me dance to that florida song is if the cast from glee (that new show on FOX) was singing it.
i was certainly over golddigger until i saw the glee commercial with that guy singing it.
i was definitely dancing to that.
all you need is a tony award winner singing a rap song to make it good.


Glee
FOX, 8:00, after so you think you can dance